Peshawar Attack: A Letter from 8-year old Bilal to his Mother

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It was a bright and a very beautiful morning in the city of Peshawar. The mid-december brought with it really cold weather. The usual morning rush hour had started. Little kids carrying school bags which were bigger and heavier than themselves were coming out of their houses. They looked funny but cute. All the kids were wearing those warm woollen hats, gloves and warm jackets.  Some were waiting for their vans alongside their parents and crying too. The mothers were , as always, persuading their kids to go to school. Their usual comforting line would be,” Beta, it’s gonna be fun, you’ll enjoy with your friends at your school, and while returning I shall prepare for you a delicious meal.” Some kids were comforted by this, while others were not. Everything seemed completely calm. The Warsak Street was filled with little and big feets making there way to their school, the ill-fated Army Public School. The kids were happily socializing and making plans for the soon-to-happen event which was supposed to be held at their school’s auditorium. Amongst the crowd was a young female, dragging her 8 year old son who did not want to go to school at all. Her mother approached the gate with her screaming little boy. He was wearing a green blazer, green pants along with a cute tie on the white shirt underneath his fine coat. His hairs were quite messy. Still yelling. His mother told him that he needs to be a good boy and go to school so that he can become an educated doctor and save lots of lives. Well, this comforted him… a bit. She bade him farewell and watched him disappear into the thick crowd of 500 students into his well-guarded school. Little did she know, this was the last time she saw her only son alive….

Assalam-u-walikum Ammi,

By now you must have heard the news of me getting killed in the attack at our school. I know Ammi, you are crying a lot and so is Papa. I can see everything from up here. Please don’t cry. I cannot see you both cry. It hurts me. I can see you both wailing and shaking my body violently and pleading me to come back. Ammi, stay strong please. Didn’t I tell you that I didn’t want to go to school today?

The function in the auditorium was going quite good. I was seated right in the middle from where I could see the stage clearly. Everything was calm and pleasant when suddenly a couple of Army men entered into the dimly lit auditorium. I thought they were here to watch the show, but they were all armed. They did not wear masks. Ammi, they looked very scary! And all of a sudden one of them shot down our Chief guest. We all screamed. And then they started firing on us. Many of my school-mates were hurt, some of them died on the spot. We started running here and there desperately searching for an escape. Ammi, I couldn’t find an escape route, I was so small. My friends from higher classes blocked my view. All I could hear were gunshots that almost made me deaf. I felt scared. I was lonely. I needed you Ammi. Where were you? I wanted to hide in your arms…

I also cried a lot and I was frantically shouting out to you and Papa, but I wasn’t sure if you were hearing me. Were you hearing me Ammi Jan? Didn’t Papa hear too? You used to say that you were always with me. Then where were you today? By then, my school’s auditorium was in complete chaos. Ammi! There was blood everywhere. I ran for the door and tripped over my English teacher’s body. I saw her, she was lying down in a pool of blood. I tried to wake her up too, Ammi. She did not respond. I knew something was terribly wrong. They even burned one of our teachers in front of us and forced us too see her die. She was a very good teacher. Why did they burn her? Why were these uncles killing us? I ran out of the auditorium and towards the sports field. I knew I could escape.

But as soon as I reached for the field there was another Army uncle who was in the field firing at us. He saw me too. I ran back inside but it was too late. Ammi, he fired me straight into my chest, twice. It started paining Ammi, my blood started to pour out and I fell down. The big monstrous man came over to me, stepped on my hand and pressed it against the ground, I managed to let out a short cry of pain, and then he shouted at me ‘Say the Kalma!’ He wasn’t human at all ammi. He shouted again in his somewhat Arabic accent. I couldn’t even manage a word out of my mouth. Seconds felt like days. The terrorists were worst than monsters in human disguise. It was very painful. I was facing difficulty in breathing. I did not want to move because it increased my pain. My body started to go numb soon. All I wanted was your lap to rest my head on. I thought I was sick, and you would come over and carry me with you, give me some syrup and sing me a lullaby until I sleep. It was all I needed, one last time, I could hold you, I could kiss you on your forehead and your voice, I wanted to hear it call my name. Slowly, my vision got blurred, the pain increased, I tried to cry out loud, but couldn’t. I always wanted to be a doctor, if I had been one, maybe I could have cured myself, right Ammi? And then I coughed a mouthful of blood and that was it. Yes, I was in my school uniform in the morning and now I sleep in my little coffin.

Papa always told me that Dadi went to Allah Pak and Allah made her a star. I think he was right. I am a star high above that world, it’s so beautiful up here. It’s also very peaceful here unlike our country. And I have met many angels here. They are so beautiful. And we all kids are living in a grand palace where we play all day. We have been told to wait until the Day of Judgement, when that uncle who killed me will be thrown in Hell. And I will wait for you both, I will hold yours and Papa’s index fingers and we will go to Paradise together, Ammi. Everything is beautiful here. But I miss you both. Don’t grieve over my death, it was Allah’s plan. Keep your faith in Allah strong. He is indeed the best Judge. He will make the wrong-doers pay for their sins. In the end, dear mother, just convey my message to the world that we Muslims are not terrorists, if we had been terrorists, today I wouldn’t have died. We want peace. Our religion wants peace. I don’t want any more kids of my age to suffer the same fate as I did, nor their parents Please tell the world to achieve peace ‘together’. It’s the only way to make this world a better place to live. That’s all. I love you, Ammi.

I know it’s very hard but please be Patient.

Yours Lovingly,

Bilal Khan
Blood-Wallpapers-19 (darkwallz.blogspot.com)

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181 thoughts on “Peshawar Attack: A Letter from 8-year old Bilal to his Mother

  1. one of the most tragic n horrifying incident i have come across in my life… hw can a person be so inhuman that he raises his gun at small children to kill them…dont they have a heart?? the sights of wailing mothers wounded children cannot be forgotten …these people should be killed in the most painful way possible because they have snatched away hundreds of flowers from a garden…they cnt be forgiven …ever!!

  2. Its just so heart breaking to read this…

    Though we both countrys fight with each others…..
    But the thing happened in our neighbour house… it’s very heart breaking n the can’t control the tears rolling down from my eyes.
    This is real love … When we fight.. We fight it but when we need a hug we hug it…
    I pray the god from inner heart – Shiva, Allah,Jesus, Buddha,and all God… to give us strength and support to fight back this evil power- TOGETHER.
    May the little souls rest in peace.. I miss u my little champs

  3. I am mother of a 15 year old. It doesn’t matter which part of the world we are from, it doesn’t matter whether our governments like each other nor is it important which religion we follow as humans and as a mother my heart bleeds. God please give these heartless animals an heart to feel and an eye to see the world with mercy and love. No religion preaches to kill others. PLEASE LET US LIVE IN THIS WORLD WITH PEACE AND LOVE, NOT WITH HATE AND REVENGE

  4. For me, I think sometimes I forget that there are other people in this world. That there are families with kids that love theirs just as much as I love mine. They eat, breathe, think, love and live just the same as I do. It shouldn’t take a story like this to remember. To see the life of a child from their own eyes. It’s saddens me so much that our world is full of terror and war on a daily basis for many in other parts of this world. Our world is such an evil place and should not be that way. Peace to all the children and others that died that day. I know if I was that mother, and things went down the way it did that day, I wouldn’t want to live another day.

  5. Words can’t describe how difficult is to lose someone. I condemn what happened should never happen again… May the souls rest in peace..

  6. May the almighty protect you little ones. This was not what was supposed to be. May the family of those who lost their little angles have the power to bear this unrepairable loss. May all the souls rest in peace.

  7. I am a 16 year old boy studying out of Pakistan. I actually started tearing up when I was reading this. I am so grateful for what Allah has given me and my family. At least those kids are in a better place as of now. As much as I love my country, I am feeling hopeless. I just simply wish I could do something in order to help my country. May the families of those innocent children stay strong to bear this intolerable loss. May all souls rest in peace. Ameen

  8. RIP, we can only pray for u bilal after reading ur letter my eyes got wet, these terrorist doesn’t belong to any religion, may allah give strength to ur family.
    ALWAYS RISE VOICE IN SUPPORT OF OPPRESSED

  9. We have never thought that muslim people were terriost and never will think in a life also. One think we have always remember for our self that is we are human beings and we have to so humanity in this world also. Why this taliban people were so rude and why they are killing for little school student and even that monster taliban people also have their child, family ??? My question why they are killing for that little child any thing mistake from that little student????? It’s totally samelessss and monster taliban terroist who killed that little student in peswar, pakistant. You taliban terroist you don’t have any kind of mankind, you are not human beings and you cannot shows your humanity in this world and you are always and always became a monster people and god will never give an excuse. My lost word for that boy who worte message for his family its a hatsofff and solute from bottom of the heart. My deep condolence to you for ever and ever. RIP Bilal Khan

  10. Janaazo pe phool toh bohot baar dekhe the..
    Lekin iss baar meri aankho ne phoolo ke janaaze dekhe 😦
    Stay strong..
    Neighbours are with you ..
    India with pakistan against terrorism

  11. Ohhh Alllah plzzz protect this city, country and our religion Islam plzz…. and May Bilal’s soul rest in peace same of Muneeb’s ….. and may Allah grant them heaven ameen and all of children who died

  12. Thanks to all the ppl who r with Pakistan in this tough time.these wicked people r neither Muslims nor Hindus nor chiristians,they dnt belong from any religion, they r just the fuel for hell.we the Muslims,we love n respect all the religions.Islam is the religion of peace,It teaches us to prevail peace.we r ordered not to kill anyone whether the person is Muslim or non muslim.im unable to muster up my words to describe my feelings but i failed

  13. one of the bet pieces of writing I have ever read, if not the best. my heart goes out to all those children whos lives were taken for all the wrong reasons.

  14. The children who where killed by the terrorists is heartbreaking💔. But luckily some of them are saved☺. But the ones who are killed are 138 small children… Do they all not have a heart ❤ to fell? Do they not have eyes to see 👀? This is what is called HEARTLESS CREATURE….
    Pray For Peshawar!
    GOOD GREAT GOD! PLEASE GIVE THOSE TERRORISTS A HURT AND SHOCK NEVER THOUGHT NEVER HEARD👂 AND NEVER 👀SEEN!

    AMEEN!
    RIP THE POOR CHILDREN!

  15. Dz words just have broken my heart deep inside as I feel I was shot d same way ….O Lord Have mercy Have mercy Have mercy…O Lord Bless us all and specially dr parents n families with courage patience peace and harmony..O Lord keep our hopes alive till the end of this terrorism..O Lord Let us be united ….May their soul rest in peace…I love all of u martyred kids…U r our strength n hope ..

  16. This heart touching story I can’t stop my crying I can’t believe there are human being how they can kill small children!oh Allah give punishment to them!

  17. not 138 children more than 550 children lost their life as I myself counted 320 dead bodies in CMH PESHAWAR…40 children were slaughtered 5 female teachers burnt …
    Shaheed ki jo moat ha woh qoam ki hayat ha
    Lahu jo ha Shaheed ka Woh qoam ki zaqaat Ha

    Till the day before yesterday i had only scene this kind of firing and blasts in Movies but yesterday When it was 9:38 am and we were in audotorium i Being Monitor was on my duty to keep the descipline AS there was a lecture of An Army Officer giving lecture on First Aid And how to mange a situation In case of any terrorist attack but suddenly Firing started outside the audotorium and 15-20 terrorists entered audotorium from back doors and first targeted Army Officer and 8 of his guards and then started blindfiring on students and teachers
    Every one panicked ,there were deadbodies and blood everywhere ,i ran out of the audotorium and saw a number of deadbodies of students and teachers
    I was confused either to stay there or run but then i saw Principal being shotted and then i ran towards Staffroom Along with my Fellows but most of them were not lucky enough to run along with me and they fell right there-most of them Died on the Spot.
    I was stuck because there were fires were coming from all sides ,Then first i entered the female staffroom there i saw most of my teachers injured then i heared the voice of terrorists who were coming towards the female staffroom then i anyhow managed to reach male staffroom
    there i saw dead bodies of male teachers and one of my friend was lying on the floor with holes in his body and was bleeding badly he asked for water i gave him water and he died in my lap and terrorists were approaching male staffroom me along with my 2 fellows hid ourselves in washroom
    There were blasts and firing going on continuously and the walls and roof of washroom got cracked and terrorists came in staffroom but miracle happened and somehow they missed that there was a washroom there and they left after killing all the staff. We were ready to die, there were no hopes left i saw my death just a mile away but Allah was with us.
    BACHANAY WALAY KI ZAAT MARNAY WALAY SE BARI HOTI HAY!
    at 4:30 it was getting dark and walls were about to collapse we decided to leave the wasroom .. we crawled and i saw a commando in the collidoor i shouted and thn he took me out of the school .. the commando who took me out had bullets in both of his legs still he was walking ..
    SALUtE TO PAKIStAN ARMY!!
    it wasnt easy to see 17 out of my 23 classfellows dying infront of my eyes and most of the teacher being killed and one teacher was burnt infront of my eyes.
    i still cant believe i’m alive and sitting between my family and friends.
    i’m still confused that am i the lucky one to survive or unlucky for not being honoured with SHAHADAT.
    i want to thanks all of you who prayed for me .. thankyou so much!
    and all my friends and teachers.. may their soul rest in peace and they get high place in Jannah and I pray those bloody terrorists bun in HELL!
    — with Mustehsan Khalil and 3 others.

  18. not 138 children more than 550 children lost their life as I myself counted 320 dead bodies in CMH PESHAWAR…40 children were slaughtered 5 female teachers burnt …
    Shaheed ki jo moat ha woh qoam ki hayat ha
    Lahu jo ha Shaheed ka Woh qoam ki zaqaat Ha

    Till the day before yesterday i had only scene this kind of firing and blasts in Movies but yesterday When it was 9:38 am and we were in audotorium i Being Monitor was on my duty to keep the descipline AS there was a lecture of An Army Officer giving lecture on First Aid And how to mange a situation In case of any terrorist attack but suddenly Firing started outside the audotorium and 15-20 terrorists entered audotorium from back doors and first targeted Army Officer and 8 of his guards and then started blindfiring on students and teachers
    Every one panicked ,there were deadbodies and blood everywhere ,i ran out of the audotorium and saw a number of deadbodies of students and teachers
    I was confused either to stay there or run but then i saw Principal being shotted and then i ran towards Staffroom Along with my Fellows but most of them were not lucky enough to run along with me and they fell right there-most of them Died on the Spot.
    I was stuck because there were fires were coming from all sides ,Then first i entered the female staffroom there i saw most of my teachers injured then i heared the voice of terrorists who were coming towards the female staffroom then i anyhow managed to reach male staffroom
    there i saw dead bodies of male teachers and one of my friend was lying on the floor with holes in his body and was bleeding badly he asked for water i gave him water and he died in my lap and terrorists were approaching male staffroom me along with my 2 fellows hid ourselves in washroom
    There were blasts and firing going on continuously and the walls and roof of washroom got cracked and terrorists came in staffroom but miracle happened and somehow they missed that there was a washroom there and they left after killing all the staff. We were ready to die, there were no hopes left i saw my death just a mile away but Allah was with us.
    BACHANAY WALAY KI ZAAT MARNAY WALAY SE BARI HOTI HAY!
    at 4:30 it was getting dark and walls were about to collapse we decided to leave the wasroom .. we crawled and i saw a commando in the collidoor i shouted and thn he took me out of the school .. the commando who took me out had bullets in both of his legs still he was walking ..
    SALUtE TO PAKIStAN ARMY!!
    it wasnt easy to see 17 out of my 23 classfellows dying infront of my eyes and most of the teacher being killed and one teacher was burnt infront of my eyes.
    i still cant believe i’m alive and sitting between my family and friends.
    i’m still confused that am i the lucky one to survive or unlucky for not being honoured with SHAHADAT.
    i want to thanks all of you who prayed for me .. thankyou so much!
    and all my friends and teachers.. may their soul rest in peace and they get high place in Jannah and I pray those bloody terrorists bun in HELL!

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